Taking my life into my hands

It's sleeting out, but the sleet is too small to see or feel. The only evidence is that the dead leaves covering the ground sound like Pop Rocks as you walk past. The National Weather Service has warned me that `TRAVEL THIS AFTERNOON COULD BE LIFE-THREATENING'. (2"-4" of wintry mix'll kill ya.) So I'm going to the mall. If the roads get too crazy, I might be trapped there. All the mallgoers would form our own primitive society. We'd be forced to live off food court fare (thanks, Frank & Stein!) for a day or so at least, until the ice all melts and we can go home. In that time, I hope I'd befriend the charismatic but somehow strangely haunted leader who will surely arise from our midst. Because when it comes time to kill and eat our fellows, I bet he'll taste the best. I can see us now: all the strandees camped out in the Sears TV section watching the Superbowl, snacking on human remains we cooked with a fleet of George Foreman grills. One can only hope.
posted by Liar at 13:27