Extra credit

Today I gave a final exam for the logic course I've been teaching. When I arrived, one of my students asked me why I'm "Porcupine Dave". I thought that would make a nifty extra credit question, so I told them, for 5 extra points, to write an interesting story explaining the name. Wow. I knew my students were sharp and creative people, but I was not prepared for the awesomeness that ensued. Some out-of-context selections:
  • All of a sudden a deer-elk thing burst out of the brush.
  • Obviously Dave was mistaken. This was no mouse.
  • With his trusty map and compass by his side, he set off in search of the hairy booty.
  • Then, you will lead all the mutant porcupines, such as myself, to the Promised Land.
  • The porcupine picked up the straw from the cup and began using it as a blowgun, shooting its spears of death in Dave's direction.
  • Dave, with his gentle heart and benevolent soul, was unperturbed by this change of routine and handled it with insurmountable grace and unmatched dignity.
  • His nickname was confirmed years later when he was found drinking vodka from the skull of a porcupine.
  • So as Dave lifted up the tuba-esque porcupine to clean out the dirt he received a faceful of urine and prickles.
  • Neither pork or pine cones are better because I'm an atheist.
  • Dave felt a surge of pain across his chest because the porcupine had bitten off his nipple.
Plus, two stories were so good that Lauren and I photocopied them in their entirety and may use them in decorating the new place. You see why I'm going to miss these kids. It's been a hell of a class.
posted by Liar at 00:16