31.1.05

The rapidly shifting Boohbah market.

Boohbah investors should either get out of the market altogether, no doubt at a loss, or start thinking long-term: the local Wal*Mart has an endcap full of singy Boohbahs down to $15 each. This is down from $22.94 less than a month ago. (Click here to see Zing Zing Zingbah go on vacation.) On the other hand, Wal*Mart's web site quotes a slightly higher price ($19.76 at press, with or without CD), but note that every one is out of stock. (Rapidly dropping prices + endcap position in-store) x out of stock online = They're clearing out their warehouse! If you've waited this long to get yourself a Boohbah, you need to act now. The opportunity won't last. Consider yourselves warned.
posted by Liar at 21:48

30.1.05

Vote Now!

Please vote, this is very important. &darr &darr &darr &darr
Pick one
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com
posted by Liar at 22:49

If your mother only knew
posted by Liar at 19:00

The Superbowl is not tomorrow.

Which makes tomorrow's Superbowl party (to be hosted by yours truly) something of an odd bird. Oops.
posted by Liar at 02:21

29.1.05


You could also try looking in P-town MA for a lobster hat.
posted by Liar at 14:53

Taking my life into my hands

It's sleeting out, but the sleet is too small to see or feel. The only evidence is that the dead leaves covering the ground sound like Pop Rocks as you walk past. The National Weather Service has warned me that `TRAVEL THIS AFTERNOON COULD BE LIFE-THREATENING'. (2"-4" of wintry mix'll kill ya.) So I'm going to the mall. If the roads get too crazy, I might be trapped there. All the mallgoers would form our own primitive society. We'd be forced to live off food court fare (thanks, Frank & Stein!) for a day or so at least, until the ice all melts and we can go home. In that time, I hope I'd befriend the charismatic but somehow strangely haunted leader who will surely arise from our midst. Because when it comes time to kill and eat our fellows, I bet he'll taste the best. I can see us now: all the strandees camped out in the Sears TV section watching the Superbowl, snacking on human remains we cooked with a fleet of George Foreman grills. One can only hope.
posted by Liar at 13:27

28.1.05

Thanks, random.org!

59 79 92 55 36 84 41 54 85 55 56 10 9 7 66 71 54 29 78 79 54 42 55 91 11 75 57 62 14 1 84 37 15 26 60 35 25 86 57 68 73 82 2 26 15 23 72 42 21 84 27 86 60 54 29 21 55 82 18 98 87 99 47 61 38 30 41 10 70 33 25 35 16 92 49 34 47 37 60 72 96 97 83 13 79 19 89 3 74 19 61 83 52 87 63 99 85 72 59 97
posted by Liar at 01:40

27.1.05

I VOTE FOR BANGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


posted by Liar at 16:24

26.1.05

Unlimited Electricity part deux.

Ok, so it now appears that I can get the unlimited electricity only for three months. If my power use rises substantially during that time, they'll throw me off the fixed-price plan. Nevertheless, three months is enough time to get quite a bit done. Some of the better suggestions I've recieved offline: -Rig up a projector powerful enough to show movies on the moon, and show movies on the moon. -Build a giant electromagnet and bend phone poles. -Rent an inflatable jumpy-room, deploy it, and charge admission (to recoup at least some of the expense). Use the projector to advertise on the moon. I do so love inflatable jumpy-rooms. -Build a large-scale TMS device. Get enough extension cords (3 miles or so) to get it to campus. `Stimulate' every brain in a large lecture hall.
posted by Liar at 20:58

25.1.05

Opportunity knocks on my power bill:

My power company loves me. They want to give me the chance to sign up for a fixed payment plan! If I sign up, I'll pay the same amount every month, no matter how much or how little electricity I use. They've selected a price (just for me!) that is at least 20% above my usual bill, so I thought at first that it would be silllly to sign up. But suppose I come up with some use for a huge amount of electricity. Can I resell electricity somehow? Bottle it and save it for future years? Power enough fans to turn my apartment into a wind tunnel? Pit my a/c against an armada of space heaters in great battle for thermal control supremacy? Because I've never squashed a grand plan for lack of electricity, this wasn't something I was prepared for. Nevertheless, I now have an opportunity to do something nifty on a pretty large scale. For a small chunk more than I'm now paying, I can have UNLIMITED ELECTRICITY!! So, before Fate passes me by (10 Feb, they say), I need ideas. What would you do with unlimited electricity?
posted by Liar at 18:24

24.1.05

Even though I shave my head, my part remains


Nervous Smelly Funny-looking Questionable morals
posted by Liar at 20:12

Save the Boohbahs from discrimination!


This dog should be rear-ended
posted by Liar at 19:33

My lobster foreman supervises the telling of a fish story:


posted by Liar at 10:11

23.1.05

The sidebar's poll

You will note the sidebar's poll. It has a correct answer. The correct answer is the second one from the top. I don't know why you aren't voting for it in droves; this post is maybe to clarify my expectations here. All the best. PS - The poll question itself may be misleading, and might be better put thusly: Do you think that, if the Yellow Pages have already proven to be no help, calling a pizza place and asking whomever answers if he/she knows where you can find a vibrator in the area is morally wrong? Now I think I'm going to go order a pizza. Rock over London; rock on Chicago.
posted by Liar at 20:13

semen = 1 (one) banana

A sheep storms a beach at midnight. He wears a cardboard cap and wool chaps. He's all touchy-feely this time of year.
posted by Liar at 02:30

22.1.05


A liar's X-rays...or...elephant feet in rearview mirrors? You decide.
posted by Liar at 23:59

Lauren checks Aletha's teeth for signs of Oreo remnants
posted by Liar at 23:54

This blog has been set up for me

because I am so full of lies.
posted by Liar at 23:29